Like
most daughters I always thought my father was a super hero. That he
will make it through what ever. That he won’t fall sick or weak. That he
will always be there when I need him. I was in denial about my dad’s
aging.
Then
i realized when we spoke on phone the tone in his voice was more subtle
almost tired and low. That was when it finally hit me that my dad no
longer had the strength I always thought he had.
At
my Husband’s my Father has always been the first thing on my mind when I
wake up in the mornings and the last when I go to bed.
Away at my husband’s I always missed home, and missing home always meant missing my dear beloved father.
When
I am hurt, snugged up in tears, with no one to feel my pain or anyone
to understand. Miles and miles away, my dear beloved father always
inquired about my wellness. And wished away all the pains that may come
my way.
When
I miss home, I miss the days I would hear the monumental sound of his
footsteps as he walked towards the compound where I listened and waited
in excitement for his executive entrance as I behaved myself out of
respect for his presence.
Oh how he sweetened my heart and gave me the goosebumps. When I miss home, missing home meant missing him.
The
very Saturday I touched down yola, went straight to the hospital where
he layed in Coma. On seeing him in such condition, I almost past out.
And when I held his fragile hand and spoke to him. On hearing my voice,
He immediately moved and took a deep breath. As if he wanted to say
something but couldn’t. He knew I was there..
The
tenebrosity of the same very Saturday I lost my father has made
everything beautiful unsightly. The air became toxic, my vision blurry
and the atmosphere suddenly became darker.
The
only person that loved me the most, my protector, my begetter is no
more. On that same night we all sat around your lifeless body, you
looked so handsome it felt like you were only sleeping.
I
have waterfalls of questions running through my head. Questions like
how did Baba got from bad to worst at the hospital? Why the plans to
move him abroad for treatment was delayed? But everything happened
according to Allah’s wish. It was his time, God chose him to be with
him. As a Muslim it’s exactly how I should think. Asking questions like
these will only mean that I’ve lost faith in God himself.
Being
in my dad’s presence had always been special to me. His memories I will
hold on to and cherish forever. I would always cherish the quality
times we had together. Times when he drove me down to go write my common
entrance exams, made sure I had all my writing materials, gave me a
cheer and wished me luck. I still remember days I was Sick with measles,
he took care of me and watched over me through the nights. My father
gave up all political appointments so he would stay home and raise his
children. He loved his children with every inched of his being. My
father is fathomless.
Dear
father, if I could trade my world for just one wish, it would be to go
back to the days I was growing up. To the days when you would drive us
round town for ice cream treats. days you would sit on your white
plastic chair out in the front yard as we board the school bus to
school. To the days we all ran around your knees.
I
would go back to the days I ran and jumped and played within the
compound while you watched up from the balcony as I melted your heart.
Days you would request us your kids to unite as one. And you would say to us ‘ I am your unifying factor ‘.
My
father gave us the best. We basically grew up within the compound under
his watch. He protected us from the outside world. I remember how we
always wondered why we were never free to go out like most of our
friends at school. We never went to birthday parties or trips to
markets. We had everything we ever wanted delivered home. We had our
little parties right within our large compound. Home was our little
world. As a kid I always wondered why I was being raised differently but
as I grew older I got to understand that my dear beloved father only
made sure we got protected from the wicked world. And for that We are
very very great full.
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